今天好早就睡醒了，只睡了几个小时，但怎么睡也睡不下了.. 逼自己醒来，有种不好的预感.. 结果收到则坏消息，一开始还真接受不来，强忍着自己的表情和情绪.. Send了SMS给几个要好的朋友，告诉他们有消息了但结果不是自己想要的..
有些东西不是属于你的就是不会让你拥有.. 我明白这道理.. 但要接受真是...... 当初期望实在太高了..
不知要怎么说下去.. 很想发泄出来.. 最近实在发生太多不如意的事了..
功课和跟班上的人际关系都不在自己的掌握中.. 我不是不习惯一个人在外面生活，只是我不明白到底发生了什么事我到底做错了什么，为什么就是要杯葛我？为什么要看不起我？读到Sem2时，我发现我对这科没有兴趣我不明白什么叫设计我想象不到设计的概念，所以只想要拿一张diploma纸回hometown工作得心态，对自己的要求没有很高，但这样并没有干涉到你们啊.. 为什么就是因为我不在乎？因为我要求低？因为我平常上课爱打瞌睡？因为我不要跟你们竞争？因为不跟你们一样等级？就因为酱你们就不爽我？
我不明白真的不明白.. 我朋友在KL念书的都有自己KL的朋友圈子，但为什么我本身就没有呢？很辛苦真的很辛苦.. 古语说，“在家靠父母，出外靠朋友” 在这里虽然我有联络之前中学的朋友，但功课上他们帮不到我，我需要帮忙的是自己班的同学，只有他们才能帮助我在功课上，我只不过想及格而已.. 但一句“就只是你，我不要帮” 我已心灰意冷了.. 绝望..
只是我个人没有干涉到你们的习惯想法，不想要跟你们竞争，你们不喜欢就把我排斥在外？我不明白.. 大城市的人就一定要酱现实吗？我一定要跟你同等级才能跟你做朋友吗？当然我也不是要“一竹竿打死一船人” 并不是全部人都是酱..
我申请那份工作，不只是因为是我的梦想，也是因为我想要暂时换一个生活圈子.. 但事与愿违，面对现实吧小子.. 也许这是一份祝福（在将来的日子） lol~
我要澄清一点就是我不是做每件事都是得过且过没有要求，我对自己是有要求有理想的.. 但我清楚知道不是在设计这科上.. 我根本不明白什么叫设计.. 拿个例子，有一次谈到这件事，我senior拿我的Nokia手机作比喻，叫我用它来做设计一个凳子的concept，我告诉她凳子就是凳子为什么要弄得古灵精怪?!Nokia手机怎样可以变成凳子?! 我想大家明白我要表达什么吧.. 我也不懂做么能渡过这两年~
还有，谢谢我那几个好友死党的回复安慰和鼓励.. 我会努力加油的!!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete既然留言了，怎么去删除了呢？
ReplyDelete说句老套话，你改变不了别人的想法，只能改变你自己。。凡是就算要求低也都尽力去完成它吧。。真的，没有人喜欢看到一个对自己没有要求和目标的人，只要将自己的心态稍微改一下，我相信一切都会比较好的。。加油咯！！
ReplyDelete-Shyr-
Thanks brother!!! 我明白我接受.. 可是在自己能力不及的情况.. 要面对要解决是件不简单的事情.. 不过我会努力的.. 放心.. 我不想让给我鼓励的人失望!!!
ReplyDelete伟诚，加油哦~
ReplyDeleteFriend..... i know what u r trying to mean....
ReplyDeleteEveryone has his own way of living, i understand this....
Just hope u happy always...
I'm here always....
james... ^^ i am happy to see ur improvements. sometimes its just part of life, here n thr we face problems. specially when we are far apart from family being alone in the town.
ReplyDeletebut human is just very funny, only when we face problems we'll learn to be better, only when we see or faced that same situations only we understand others suffers, reason n openminded about it. Things that happens around is just part of growing up. Sometimes ppl may not know when doing or saying things that cld hurts so much but it will only be realise when he/she faced it. tts why learning is a whole life process~
Chill fren, no worry so much.. u hav ur dream n wish n tats all, u are rite. no necessary to be like everyone.
btw bout design concepts~ just as info, it doesnt drop from the sky or just got it ~ it starts from nothing to something. It only comes nearer to u when u think of why? wht? how? who? when? of it.. alot of reading n explore from references ,mags even everday things around us, are part of progress to hav concepts. why ppl need concept, if it is only do bcoz we like it, then is just a piece of art. (eg. tts y sometimes we see s/thing, its beautiful but we don buy it or like it, the reason is the answer) but if u hav a good concept, it mean u'll considere more~ whether its functionble n practicle, whether its nice to see, whether its more flexible for the user to use.. etc. why wanna think so much. well, that only if u wanna contribute ur possible potiential to the society~ and that is where all the beautiful things around us are created. beautiful plus functional stuff are love by almost everyone includng ourself. it makes us happy. it bring colours to our life, isnt it?~ thrfor, if we are gifted by god that we can play a role that makes good~ its just a blessing that the tough efforts is a pleasure~
ReplyDeleteHowever, everyone hav a choose. what u want to hav n to be in ur life and wat makes u happy. thats all wat matters.
ReplyDelete=)
p/s: everyone is special, just in diff ways. u too! can make ur dreams come true!
cheers~! always